Sometimes, You Just Need to Switch Off.

Written by Luke Newman, CEO and Founder of For Men To Talk

I’m 45 years old. I’m a husband, a father, a CEO and the founder of a men’s mental health company. I also try to look after my physical health by going to the gym. On paper, it might sound like I have everything under control, but the reality is that life can be very busy.

I work more than full-time hours. There are meetings, emails, events, planning, travelling and the everyday pressures that come with running ‘For Men To Talk’. Then there is family life, including school runs, appointments, sporting events and all the other commitments that come with being a husband and father. I wouldn’t change my family life for anything, and I’m incredibly proud of my family, but sometimes, when you are constantly doing things for other people, you can forget to do something for yourself.

That is when burnout can start to creep in.

Burnout doesn’t always arrive suddenly. Sometimes it happens slowly, and you don’t even notice it at first. You become tired, you feel like you are constantly rushing and your mind never seems to switch off. You start thinking about tomorrow before today has even finished. You keep telling yourself that you will have some time for yourself soon, but somehow, that time never seems to arrive.

I think there can be a particular pressure on men to keep going. We can convince ourselves that we have to be strong, that other people need us and that there are always jobs that need finishing. We can put our own needs at the bottom of the list because we believe there are more important things to deal with. Sometimes, we can even feel guilty for taking time for ourselves.

I know I can feel like that.

Personal events are not something I get to attend very often. There always seems to be another meeting, another responsibility or another job that needs doing. However, last week, I decided to make some time for myself and attended Electric Paradise at Milton Keynes National Bowl.

Honestly, it was just what I needed.

For a few hours, I switched off. I wasn’t thinking about work, emails, meetings, family commitments or what needed doing the following morning. I was dancing, singing and reminiscing, simply enjoying myself and being in the moment.

The lineup was incredible, with names including Candi Staton, Kool & The Gang and Sister Sledge featuring Kathy Sledge. There were also dance music legends such as Armand Van Helden and Todd Terry. Hearing those songs brought back memories and gave me the opportunity to create new ones.

However, the day reminded me that it was about much more than music. It was about taking a break and giving myself permission to enjoy something without feeling guilty that I wasn’t working or doing something for somebody else.

As someone who spends his working life encouraging men to talk about their mental health, I know how important talking can be. But looking after your mental health is about more than talking when things become difficult. It is also about recognising when you are running on empty and doing something about it.

Sometimes that might mean talking to someone. It might mean going to the gym, spending time with your family, meeting friends, listening to music, watching your favourite football team or going to a festival. It could be anything that gives you an opportunity to step away from the pressures of everyday life.

We all need time to breathe and switch off. We shouldn’t feel guilty about that.

Even CEOs need a break. Even fathers need time for themselves. Even people who spend their working lives helping others need to remember that their own mental health matters too.

Last week, for a few hours, I wasn’t Luke the CEO or Luke the founder of ‘For Men To Talk’. I was simply Luke. I danced, I sang, I reminisced and, most importantly, I enjoyed myself.

Sometimes, that is exactly what we need to do. Give ourselves permission to stop, take a breath and remember that we are more than our responsibilities.

Looking after yourself isn’t selfish. It is necessary. 

….and bring on Electric Paradise 2027!