‘For Men To Talk’ is three years old today!

My name is Luke Newman and I am the founder and director of ‘For Men To Talk’. Today marks its three-year anniversary of its launch and although it seems to have gone by in a flash, so much has happened.

I have personally suffered for a number of years with grief and anxiety since losing my mother, aged 54, and sister, 44, both to cancer. However, I feel fortunate that I could admit my illness, as sadly a lot of men are not able to do so without the support that a group like ‘For Men To Talk’ provides. 

Having already been through counselling and therapy, I recognised that there weren’t any groups for men to simply talk. This was a major driver in my founding the ‘For Men To Talk’ three years ago today, giving men who are suffering with anxiety, depression and grief the opportunity to talk with other fellow sufferers about their situation, provide support for each other and improve their well-being. 

Throughout the last three years, we have been running a hybrid service, both physical and virtual meetings via zoom. In 2022, we had our physical meetings in Biggleswade, St.Neots and Cambourne, which allowed us to help even more men. In regards to the virtual meetings, men from the other side of the word, such as Canada and New York, U.S.A have been able to join us. The wonders of technology will never cease to amaze me!

In 2023, although we will not be returning to Cambourne, we are looking forward to bringing new meetings to Gamlingay in Cambridgeshire and Sandy in Bedfordshire. From the feedback from the attendees, the men seem to like that the meetings are informal, with no rules, no regulations, no hard questions to answer. The subject could be anything, feelings, worries or even about sport or television, but the comforting thing was that all the men in that physical or virtual room have one thing in common. They are going through troubles, but they want to talk.

It’s also been a chance for men who have finished counselling sessions to continue their journey. A few were saying that although their therapy had been completed and personal growth had been achieved, they wanted to continue talking. The ‘For Men To Talk’ group sessions allows that continuation.

We have been able to welcome experts to join the meetings. They have been able to present and suggest improvements and techniques on improving mental health.

We have also discussed the importance of male cancer awareness and recognising the symptoms. A page is dedicated on the ‘For Men To Talk’ website with downloadable PDF files recognising the symptoms of testicular and prostate cancer. This is an important subject for me, as my father battled and won testicular cancer over thirty-five years ago.

This year we also continued with ‘For Men To Talk… and Walk’, a monthly session which sees us men walk whilst we talk, rather that sitting down! This promotes the mental and physical health benefits of walking and talking.

On Sunday 2 October 2022, seven members of ‘For Men To Talk… and Walk’ did a 26.2 mile marathon. During the Covid-19 pandemic, the London Marathon moved to the month of October in 2021 and 2022, from the normal April, and also introduced a virtual event. This meant that there was an opportunity to complete the 26 miles and 385 yards (42.195 kilometres) distance from home and we achieved it! There were aches and pains, but it was an incredible day. I can’t tell you how proud of I am of all the walkers, what an achievement! We also raised over £2500 for ‘For Men To Talk’ in the process.

In September, I was personally awarded a BBC Three Counties Radio ‘Make A Difference’ Award. The ceremony recognises remarkable people, marking their achievements and contributions to lives in their communities.

Then in November at The Luton and Bedfordshire Community Awards, I was firstly awarded the ‘Role Model of the Year’ then the ‘Winner of Winners’ on the night. It was celebrating the unsung heroes of the community and applauding those that that seek to make the lives of others, easier, happier and more fulfilled.

I want to use this opportunity to say that I haven’t built ‘For Men To Talk’ to win accolades or awards. I’ve built it to give men opportunities to talk about they feel. But I am extremely honoured, humbled and proud of both of these recognitions, I’ve worked so hard. More importantly it acknowledges the need for mens mental health groups.

This year ‘For Men To Talk’ have received their first significant set of funding.

• The Heads-Up community grant fund which is part of BLMK ICS NHS England Suicide Prevention Funding.
• The Mental Health Inequalities Community Grant Scheme which is part of BLMK ICS NHS England Suicide Prevention Funding.
• The Bedfordshire and Luton Community Foundation ‘GVC Fund’.

As part of the funding, we have and will continue to promote awareness of the ‘Stay Alive App’ to support working towards a reduction in suicides locally and ‘Heads-Up’ a local campaign that aims to prompt men to recognise when and if they are feeling low and how to take action 

We also acknowledge Mulberry Homes, East Anglia Scale Trail (remote control cars) and individuals who have kindly donated sizeable amounts this year too.

We have had 1422 attendees to 107 meetings in 2022, with one more meeting to go, and I’d like to thank every single one of them. All the men should be applauded for reaching out and talking about how they feel. 

I would also like to that all the support from the public, for the kind words, for recommendations, for sharing social media posts, there are so many ways that you have helped.

May I wish you all a merry Christmas and a happy new year.

Here’s to a healthy and safe 2023.