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The danger and signs of Gaslighting

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Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person or group causes another person to doubt their own perception and reality. It is a tactic used to gain power and control over the other person.
The term ‘gaslighting’ comes from the 1938 play ‘Gas Light’, in which a husband manipulates his wife into thinking she is losing her mind by dimming the gas lights in their home and denying that they are changing when she notices.
In a gaslighting situation, the manipulator will use various tactics to manipulate the victim, such as withholding information, making them question their own memory and perception, manipulating their environment without their knowledge and lying to them outright.
These tactics are often subtle and can be difficult to detect, making gaslighting a particularly insidious form of abuse. The victim may start to doubt their own sanity and may become isolated and dependent on the manipulator.
Gaslighting can happen in any type of relationship, including romantic partnerships, friendships and family relationships. It can even occur in professional settings, such as the workplace.

Signs of gaslighting behaviour by the perpetrator, include:

  • Blatant lies
  • They deny ever saying it
  • Using what you love against you
  • Losing your sense of self
  • Words versus actions
  • Love and flattery
  • Constant and consistent confusion
  • Projecting actions
  • Questioning sanity
  • Everyone else is not telling the truth

Some potential signs that someone is experiencing gaslighting, include:

  • Feeling uncertain of their perceptions
  • Frequently questioning if they are remembering things correctly
  • Believing they are irrational or crazy
  • Feeling incompetent, unconfident or worthless
  • Constantly apologising to the abusive person
  • Defending the abusive person’s behaviour to others
  • Becoming withdrawn or isolated from others

The effects of gaslighting can be devastating, as it can erode a person’s sense of self-worth and self-confidence. It can also lead to anxiety, depression and other mental health issues. It is important for anyone who is being gaslighted to seek support from friends, family or a mental health professional.