Mother’s Day: A personal reflection by Luke Newman, founder of ‘For Men To Talk’

By Luke Newman, founder of ‘For Men To Talk’.

In a world that often celebrates Mother’s Day with joy and gratitude, there are those who quietly grapple with the complex emotions that the day brings. As the founder of ‘For Men To Talk,’ a men’s peer support group, I want to share my heartfelt thoughts on this Mother’s Day. For myself, the day is a poignant reminder of a profound loss – the passing of his mother to ovarian cancer nearly 19 years ago.

The Weight of Memories:

On Mother’s Day in the UK, many celebrate the women who shaped their lives. For myself, however, the day carries a unique weight. The memories of my mother, lost to the relentless grasp of ovarian cancer, resurface with an intensity that is both beautiful and painful. The passage of time hasn’t decreased the emotional impact, and each year presents a new set of challenges in navigating this annual commemoration.

The Unseen Struggle:

Men, too, experience grief, longing, and vulnerability. However, societal expectations can sometimes hinder the open expression of these emotions. ‘For Men To Talk’ serves as a safe space for men to break free from these constraints, fostering an environment where they can share their struggles without judgment.

Facing the Grave:

The prospect of visiting my Mum’s grave on Mother’s Day is both a source of comfort and a challenge. The cemetery holds the physical remains of a woman whose influence still resonates in my life. The struggle to face the grave stems from a mix of love, grief, and the persistent ache of an absence that time cannot erase. In sharing this struggle, I hope to encourage others to acknowledge their pain and find healthy ways to cope.

The Healing Power of Connection:

‘For Men To Talk’ was born out of my own journey through grief of both losing my Mum and sister, recognising the healing power of connection and shared experiences. In times of emotional distress, reaching out to others who understand can be life-changing. The group provides a space for men to express their feelings openly, breaking down the walls of isolation that grief can build.

Still Celebrate

But I made sure that there is a delicate balance between celebrating the woman who is the mother of my three children and mourning the loss of my own mother. I remind myself to cherish the moments with my wife and children while honouring the cherished memories of my mum. In these dual emotions, I find a poignant tribute to Mum, the incredible women, who have shaped my life and family.

Conclusion:

As Mother’s Day unfolds, my poignant reflections serve as a reminder that the day holds a spectrum of emotions for many. The grief of losing a mother is a journey that extends beyond the bounds of time, and it’s essential to acknowledge and support those who may find this day challenging. ‘For Men To Talk’ stands as a testament to the strength found in vulnerability and connection, providing a beacon of hope for those navigating the complex terrain of grief on days like Mother’s Day.