Breaking the silence: Support for male victims of domestic abuse
Luke Newman, founder of ‘For Men To Talk’, recently held a discussion with Michael Ronnie, a Male Independent Domestic Violence Advisor (IDVA) from Victim Support (VS). Their conversation highlighted the challenges male victims face and the support available through victim support.
Michael Ronnie shared that Victim Support is the leading independent victims’ charity in England and Wales, helping people move beyond crime and trauma. With a focus on empowering victims, they work closely with police, local authorities, and other agencies to improve services and offer much-needed support.
One of the key services provided is the Male IDVA Service. This service is available to men aged 16 and over in Bedfordshire or Luton who are experiencing domestic abuse at any risk level. It is LGBTQ+ inclusive and specifically designed for male victims. According to Michael:
“We assess risk, offer personalised safety advice, and work to empower men to cope and recover. Our support is free, confidential, and includes emotional and practical help. We collaborate with police, housing, health services, and other organisations to ensure comprehensive care.”
The Hidden Struggles of Male Domestic Abuse Victims
Statistically, 1 in 6 men will suffer domestic abuse during their lifetime (ONS 2019). In Bedfordshire alone, that’s around 43,600 men. Despite these numbers, men are often less likely to talk about their experiences due to societal pressures, fear, or shame.
Michael emphasised that any man, regardless of age, sexuality, or background, can be a victim. Forms of abuse range from emotional, physical, and sexual abuse to coercive control, psychological manipulation, and financial abuse.
Many men feel trapped in abusive relationships. Some stay because they fear losing contact with their children, while others worry they cannot afford to support two households. Tragically, some men even fear that their partners will harm themselves or take extreme actions if they attempt to leave.
Michael also highlighted an alarming trend: more men are reporting thoughts of suicide as a way out of abusive situations. This underscores the urgent need for support services.
How to Get Help
If you are a male experiencing domestic abuse and feel that IDVA support could help, you can request assistance through any professional service you are currently in contact with. Alternatively, you can reach out directly:
- For those in Bedfordshire: Call 01234 763785
- For those in Luton: Call 01582 488777
A Safe Space to Talk
‘For Men To Talk’ provides a safe and open environment for men dealing with anxiety, depression, and grief. The group hosts various sessions, including physical, virtual, walking, and fishing meetings. It’s a unique opportunity to connect with others who understand your struggles.
For more information, visit www.formentotalk.co.uk or contact Luke directly at 07709 446480 or via email at luke@formentotalk.co.uk. Don’t stay silent – help is available.