Ten things to know about dating a man with autism
Dating someone with autism can be a meaningful and enriching experience, but it helps to understand certain aspects of how autism shapes their perspective. If you’re dating a man with autism, here are ten important things to keep in mind:
- Time Alone Doesn’t Mean Lack of Care
Sometimes, we may need time alone to unwind after a long day. This doesn’t mean we don’t care about you. If we avoid eye contact during a conversation, it’s not intentional rudeness or disinterest. We’re still listening. If you’re unsure about how we feel, ask us. We’re happy to explain. - Eye Contact Can Be Challenging
Looking directly into someone’s eyes can be difficult for us, but that doesn’t mean we don’t value communication. To avoid misunderstandings, it’s helpful if you’re open with us about how you feel or what’s on your mind. If you have questions, ask early instead of assuming. - Help Us Understand Jokes or Sarcasm
Sometimes, sarcasm or subtle jokes can go over our heads. If we don’t get something you said, take a moment to explain. We want to understand, and your patience means a lot to us. - We Can Date People Without Autism
A common misconception is that people on the autism spectrum only date others on the spectrum. That’s not true. What matters to us is finding someone we connect with, whether they’re on the spectrum or not. - Honesty About Intimacy Is Key
When it comes to physical or emotional intimacy, we may not always know what pace feels right for you. Be upfront about your comfort level, whether things are moving too fast or too slow. We respect honesty, and clear communication helps us build trust. - Autism Isn’t Always Visible
You may not immediately notice characteristics of autism when you’re with us. Autism is a spectrum, and not everyone shows traits in the same way. Even if we don’t fit your preconceived notions, it doesn’t change who we are. - Don’t Jump to Conclusions
If you know we’re on the spectrum before our date, avoid making assumptions based on stereotypes or media portrayals. Autism varies from person to person, and it’s better to get to know us rather than rely on generalisations. - Love Is Love
Autism doesn’t define how we love. It’s important to approach us as individuals rather than through the lens of a diagnosis. Avoid referencing outdated or stereotypical depictions, as they don’t represent everyone on the spectrum. - Give Us Time to Process Decisions
Transitions and decisions, whether small (like picking a restaurant) or big (like moving in together), can sometimes take us longer to process. It’s not about hesitation—it’s about adjusting. With time and mutual care, we’ll figure things out together. - Love Without Labels
Love doesn’t discriminate. Race, religion, gender, sexuality, or disability doesn’t matter in a healthy relationship. Accept us for who we are, and we’ll do the same for you.
By keeping these things in mind, you can build a stronger connection with a man on the autism spectrum. Like any relationship, it’s about understanding, patience, and mutual respect.