Understanding what makes a Male Carer

Recently, ‘For Men To Talk’ founder & CEO Luke Newman met with Jo Jacobs, Community Engagement Officer from Carers in Bedfordshire. The meeting focused on one important question: what makes someone a male carer?

Many men support others every day but do not see themselves as carers. This means they may miss out on help, advice and support that is available to them. By talking more openly about caring, organisations hope more men will recognise their role and get the support they deserve.

Luke Newman shared why this conversation matters. “Many men are caring without realising it. They just see it as ‘what needs to be done’. By helping men understand what a carer is, we can help them feel less alone and more supported.” 

Carers in Bedfordshire supports unpaid carers across the county. They want people to identify themselves as carers and register with them. By registering, carers can access a wide range of services. These include advice, clear information, support groups, local events and carers grants. All of this can make a big difference to daily life.

So, what actually makes someone a carer?

You may be a carer if you regularly help someone with everyday tasks. This could be cooking meals, cleaning the house, doing the shopping or taking someone to appointments. You might also be the person who organises medication, routines or paperwork, or who speaks to doctors, schools or other professionals.

Caring is not just about physical tasks. You could be offering emotional support to someone with a physical disability, mental health condition, addiction, long-term illness or age-related changes. If you are the person they rely on when they are upset, anxious or struggling, that counts too.

You may check in on someone often, even if you do not live with them. You might have changed your work hours, daily routine or social life so you can be there for them. Feeling responsible for someone’s safety or wellbeing is another strong sign that you are a carer.

Many carers do not call themselves carers. You might simply feel that you are “helping out” or “doing your duty”. But if someone turns to you first when something goes wrong, you are likely in a caring role.

Caring is not limited to family. You could be supporting a partner, parent, child, sibling, friend or neighbour. There does not need to be a formal diagnosis for the person you support. You also do not need to provide personal care. Supporting someone with memory problems, behaviour changes, mood swings or crisis situations is still caring.

Many men juggle this role quietly, without talking about it. Recognising yourself as a carer is the first step to getting help.

For more information or to register as a carer, please visit www.carersinbeds.org.uk. Support is available, and you do not have to manage caring on your own.