The power of words: How adults shape young men’s perspectives
The way adults communicate with young men plays a crucial role in shaping their outlook on life. Sometimes, without even realising it, adults, especially anxious ones, can influence how a young person views the world, often unintentionally sowing seeds of fear or pessimism. But with some thought and effort, adults can help foster a healthier, more hopeful mindset in young people—one that will support them even when they encounter challenges.
Watch Your Words
The things we say matter, especially when we’re speaking to or around young people. It’s common for anxious adults to fall into the trap of catastrophising, which means focusing on worst-case scenarios instead of balanced perspectives. For example, a well-meaning adult might say, “It’s really important for you to learn how to swim because it’d be devastating to me if you drowned.” Though their intention is to emphasise the importance of a skill, the focus on potential tragedy can heighten fear and anxiety for the young person.
A more constructive approach would be to say, “It’s really important for you to learn how to swim because it’s a great life skill to have and you’ll enjoy the water so much more.” This phrasing emphasises the positive outcomes while still making the point about the skill’s importance. It’s crucial to recognise that young men, particularly those still developing their sense of self, are deeply influenced by the language they hear. Constant exposure to worst-case scenario thinking can make them feel like the world is more dangerous or hopeless than it actually is.
Helping Young Men Through Tough Times
No one can avoid tough times entirely. Young men will face moments of pain, disappointment, and uncertainty, just like everyone else. The challenge for adults is to help them navigate these experiences without falling into despair. One of the most powerful ways to do this is by helping them keep a broader, long-term perspective.
At 16 or 18, life can feel immediate and intense—every success feels monumental, and every setback can seem like the end of the world. It’s easy to get caught up in the present moment, especially when the future feels abstract. But this is where the guidance of a caring adult can make all the difference.
Encouraging young men to look beyond their immediate problems, and to imagine a future that holds promise, can help them maintain hope. This isn’t about ignoring their current struggles but about reminding them that the tough moments they’re facing right now are not the whole story. Just as the pages of history show that life goes on after even the darkest events, their lives, too, will move forward after difficulties. It’s important to remind them that pain is temporary and that there are better days ahead.
A Positive Outlook for a Brighter Future
Helping young men develop a positive, hopeful outlook doesn’t mean sugar-coating reality or pretending that life is without challenges. Instead, it’s about fostering resilience—helping them see that while bad things do happen, they don’t define the future. Life is full of opportunities for growth, joy, and success, even in the face of setbacks.
As adults, we can encourage this mindset by focusing on optimism and possibility. When a young person expresses fear or doubt, listen to them, acknowledge their feelings, and then help them see the potential for positive outcomes. Share stories of people who have overcome adversity, remind them of the strength they’ve shown in the past, and help them visualise the life they want to build.
In the end, our words have power. By choosing language that emphasises hope, possibility, and growth, we can help young men navigate the inevitable ups and downs of life with confidence, knowing that even the hardest times will pass, and that the future holds great promise.